Highlights from work Saturday

Standard

I worked with my 2 supervisors on Saturday. I’m gonna call them Cowgirl and Momma. If you knew them, you’d get it. 😛

This loud group of teenagers came in, and here are some of the wonderful things we said to them.

One of the kids picks up the edible “posing pouch” (male undies) and this happens.

Kid: Do you have to be 18 to buy this?
Me: Well. No.
Momma: But I think you’ll have a hard time finding someone to eat it off of you.
Me: Tell ya what. Find a way to prove to us that you know a FEMALE who will eat it off of you, and well sell it to you.

And earlier, this happened.

Me: So…. did you guys actually want something? Or did you have a question?
Kid (different kid, maybe): What’s this?
Me: A vibrator.
Kid: *long pause and laughter with his buddies* What does it feel like?
Me: …. A vibrator.

Later, unrelated to the above incident (which had a lot more awesome, just too lazy to type it all)…. this happened.
Me: Hey man, how are you today?
Dude: *mumbles something ending in “sex shop”*
Me: Excuse me?
Dude: This place is basically like a sex shop, huh?
Me: Well. The back corner is. Did you need something?
Dude: *walks that way*
Me: *notices a random spill* Hey, I gotta get this. If you have any questions, I’ll find you when I’m done with this.
Dude: *stands basically above the puddle of soda as I clean it* Just got here and I’m already in trouble, huh?
Me: I think it’s obvious that this spill wasn’t you…..
Momma: If it was, that would be impressive!
Me: *facepalm going on in head*
Dude: *walks to the back corner*
Me: *straightening merchandise* So. Did you have any questions about anything?
Dude: No. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.
Me: Why?
Dude: You’re cute and you seem sweet.
Me: *blink blink blink* *thinking* The only people who ever hit on me just LOOK creepy as all hell…. this dude is almost attractive. Bad at hitting on people, but not as much of a creep as usual. Just keep straightening and he’ll go away. And flash your fake wedding band set…. *ACTUALLY says* Uhm…. Ok….
Dude: *can tell he’s being ignored, and probably saw the bling* Well, I should go before my buddies ditch me.
Me: Yeah. Losing them would be bad.

Immediately after that, I asked the girls to go with it if he came back and just agree that I’m married. My theory was to a guy in the Navy (attempt at semi intimidating, and decent income, and not entirely a lie…. closer to the truth that something else I could’ve come up with). They said they would go with the idea of me being married, but they would tell any guy who hits on me that I’m the type of girl who cheats on my (non existent) spouse. I love those girls.

Today’s post might be kinda long and stupid, but I’m about to go to bed and realized I was gonna post something random. May have put stuff I didn’t need to in here. But the point is still there.

Class tomorrow. Should get at least one good story out of it.

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