Oh work, how I love thee.


I was at work, and there were these youngish guys being all kinds of special. Mamma had already messed with them. I felt it was my turn.

Dude 1: How much is this poster?
Me: *price*
Dude 1: Oh come on, you can give me some sort of discount, can’t you?
Me: Nope.
Dude 1: Well, then how about the discount where I just take it?
Me: I will chase you down!
Dude 1: You couldn’t catch me. I’m part of the Jamaican running team!
Dude 2: Hah! You’re the wrong skin tone, man!
Me: Hey now, my 7th grade PE teacher called me “Speedy Gonzales!”
Dude 1: My ex girlfriend called me “Speedy Gonzales”
Me: I don’t think that’s a compliment, dude. I think that’s a problem…?
Dude 2: Yeah, I wouldn’t think it would be a good thing.
Me: Hey, I have an ex I could call that….. now if only he would ever speak to me…


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