So, my boyfriend and I were in the car the other day, and he got a random text.
BF: Hi. Who is this?
Girl: Carla. Who is this?
Girl: Oh, sorry, wrong number. I was looking for *other name*
BF: I don’t know anyone by that name.
Girl: Sorry to bother you, then.
*few minutes pass*
Girl: Can I ask you something?
Girl: Are you single?
At this point, I’m kinda confused. When she asked if she could ask him something, I knew where it was headed.
BF: My girlfriend who is sitting in the car next to me says “no.”
Her signature in her texts is “*Redneck Juliet*” so we about died laughing.
Classes are out, I did well. Not a whole lot going on that is post worthy, but this happened at work.
Random Dude: *grabbing the fake boobs (“Jingle Jugs”)*
Me: You feelin’ up the merchandise?
Random Dude: No, man. I was fixing her top.
Me: Yeah. She’s kind of a hussy. *fixes her top*
Random Dude: Nah, I like it that way.
Me: …… I would never do that. At least not in public. *realizes that was a bad idea to say*
Random Dude: When do you get off work?
Me: I have a boyfriend.
Random Dude: So do I.
Dude’s Friend: It’s not me, man. It’s him *points to friend*
And my coworker did this. I don’t like him.
Creeper: …. I can’t talk to you. Your chest is too distracting.
Me: …………………. uhm. what?
I’d file a lawsuit, but I’m trying to quit there, anyway. So I’m just gonna ignore him and start wearing actual t-shirts. I think the boss would side with the dude if I keep wearing low cut tanks to work….
Sunday, the store got a call and I answered it.
Me: Thank you for calling *store*, how can I help you?
Guy: Yeah, I’m on your website and I see something called a “super sucker.”
Me: Ok, can you tell me which section of the website you are on so I don’t assume it’s something it’s not?
Me: Ok, I think I know what you’re talking to. What does the package or product looks like?
Guy: It doesn’t show that.
Me: It should. Is the packaging red, black, and white? Or is the product an off white color?
Guy: The website doesn’t show me a picture.
Me: Well, if it’s what I think it is, we should have it. And we have another item very similar, but it’s a different brand. Same concept, different brand.
Guy: Oh, ok, cool. Do you have one that has a vibrator in it?
Me: No, we just have the basic masturbation sleeves. If you want a higher end one, go to Romantic Escapades and get a flesh light.
Guy: Wow, you’ve got a lot of knowledge on the subject.
Me: Well…. uhm…
Guy: Well lemme ask you something else. I see on the site that you also have the jack rabbit.
Me: Yeah, we have the iVibe Rabbit. It’s $80.
Guy: Do guys buy those?
Me: Not for themselves. They are designed with women in mind, but men often buy them for their girls.
Guy: Oh, ok.