Category Archives: Stuff other people say/do

The Great Porn Debate

Standard

Saw “The Great Porn Debate” at my school today. It was pretty much awesome. Ron Jeremy vs. a 35 year old pastor

The pastor guy had a few good points, but mainly, he kept saying “Pornย  leads men to have unrealistic expectations for sex” basically implying that porn makes men think that women like double penetration and gang bangs and whatnot. He talked about how easy it is for kids to view porn (and basically said that the main viewers of porn are young, underage children).ย  He also brought up “barely legal” stuff and things like that. He thinks that all porn is degrading to women and all women porn stars are miserable. In short, he said that porn addictions are biiig problems and seemed to think that most people who view porn have an addiction and that all porn ruins sexual relationships. He did not, however, state that pre-marital sex is bad, or necessarily that masturbation is wrong (hinted that he’s not too big on it, tho). But he also basically said that no women enjoy porn (and if they go to porn conventions or award shows it’s only because their boyfriend/husband wants to go). I do not watch porn, I get nothing from it, but I know women who legit ENJOY porn.

Ron Jeremy basically said “female porn stars choose the profession and a bunch of them make a lot of money and move on to better things.” He also said that the pastor was only bringing up the odd ball porn. The largest sold/viewed porn, according to his research, is 35-49 year old men and MILF and Cougar porn is the most popular. Kids do view porn, but it’s not because it’s marketed to them, it’s because parental blocks aren’t being utilized properly. The porn industry (at least the legit parts, like his companies) do what they can to prevent minors viewing it and they shut down a lot of the kiddie porn and apparently it’s against regulations to do the “look, I’m trying to look like I’m 14” porn. He also brought up that there is regular STD testing and unsafe acts (like ass-to-vagina) are NOT performed. He did not say that porn is amazing and all men and women should look at it and he does not condone underage viewing, but he states that well, it happens.

What annoyed me was some girl who works at another store like mine basically said “where I work, I can sell sex toys to kids” and I almost stood up and said “well, you CAN, but you are not obligated to sell a sex toy to a 12 year old. you can say now! you have the right to turn them away.” The debaters were asking if the store sold magazines and videos, which we don’t, and the pastor definitely seemed upset by the fact that the store can legally sell vibrators to children. Ron Jeremy didn’t seem upset, but kinda confused. They also brought up the playboy merchandise, which in my opinion is fairly innocent because, well, it’s just the bunny head and the word “Playboy” on it. It’s popular mainly because of stuff like the shoe “Girls Next Door.” These girls buying the merchandise aren’t wanting to become porn stars, it’s more of a status symbol than anything. I wanted to ask a question about why the pastor seemed to think that no women watch porn for personal enjoyment and then say, basically “I dunno how her store is run, but in my store, we do not sell any sexual material to anyone who is very obviously a minor because we don’t think it’s morally right to sell things like that to young teenagers without a parent present. we have the right to do that, too.”

By the end of it, I got a picture with Ron Jeremy and 2 of my friends and I got him to sign my birth control package. ๐Ÿ™‚ (it was the only thing I could find that was easy to sign) and he made fun of my Vibram Five-Finger shoes.

Carla the Redneck Juliet

Standard

So, my boyfriend and I were in the car the other day, and he got a random text.

Girl: Hi.
BF: Hi. Who is this?
Girl: Carla. Who is this?
BF: *name*
Girl: Oh, sorry, wrong number. I was looking for *other name*
BF: I don’t know anyone by that name.
Girl: Sorry to bother you, then.
*few minutes pass*
Girl: Can I ask you something?
BF: Sure.
Girl: Are you single?

At this point, I’m kinda confused. When she asked if she could ask him something, I knew where it was headed.

BF: My girlfriend who is sitting in the car next to me says “no.”

Her signature in her texts is “*Redneck Juliet*” so we about died laughing.

Prank Callers lose.

Standard

Sunday, the store got a call and I answered it.

Me:ย  Thank you for calling *store*, how can I help you?
Guy: Yeah, I’m on your website and I see something called a “super sucker.”
Me: Ok, can you tell me which section of the website you are on so I don’t assume it’s something it’s not?
Guy: Uhm….
Me: Ok, I think I know what you’re talking to. What does the package or product looks like?
Guy: It doesn’t show that.
Me: It should. Is the packaging red, black, and white? Or is the product an off white color?
Guy: The website doesn’t show me a picture.
Me: Well, if it’s what I think it is, we should have it. And we have another item very similar, but it’s a different brand. Same concept, different brand.
Guy: Oh, ok, cool. Do you have one that has a vibrator in it?
Me: No, we just have the basic masturbation sleeves. If you want a higher end one, go to Romantic Escapades and get a flesh light.
Guy: Wow, you’ve got a lot of knowledge on the subject.
Me: Well…. uhm…
Guy: Well lemme ask you something else. I see on the site that you also have the jack rabbit.
Me: Yeah, we have the iVibe Rabbit. It’s $80.
Guy: Do guys buy those?
Me: Not for themselves. They are designed with women in mind, but men often buy them for their girls.
Guy: Oh, ok.
*call ends*

Oh, how I love work sometimes….. Not.

Standard

So, I had to rearrange my schedule today ’cause I have a flat tire and no jack to put my spare on to go get the tire plugged….. So….. I went in to work at 6 after my mom got home so I could take her car. Lucky me got to deal with this…

Me: Hi, sir, can I help you with something?
Man: *Holding “KY His and Hers”* Yeah, how much is this? I can’t find a price tag.
Me: Oh, I’ll go find out for you. *goes and finds out* It’s (price).
Man: Oh, thank you.

I watched him put the KY stuff back kinda near where it’s supposed to go and I go get a step ladder to put it up properly and to put the other boxes of it that were in weird places up and to straighten the merchandise on the shelf.

Man: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make a mess.
Me: It’s ok. I can fix it in a second.
Man: Well, at least I get to watch you get on a step ladder….

I wanted to tell him I am a happily taken woman or lie and say I’m a married woman. But instead, I just laughed awkwardly and walked off after fixing the stuff.

Highlights from work Saturday

Standard

I worked with my 2 supervisors on Saturday. I’m gonna call them Cowgirl and Momma. If you knew them, you’d get it. ๐Ÿ˜›

This loud group of teenagers came in, and here are some of the wonderful things we said to them.

One of the kids picks up the edible “posing pouch” (male undies) and this happens.

Kid: Do you have to be 18 to buy this?
Me: Well. No.
Momma: But I think you’ll have a hard time finding someone to eat it off of you.
Me: Tell ya what. Find a way to prove to us that you know a FEMALE who will eat it off of you, and well sell it to you.

And earlier, this happened.

Me: So…. did you guys actually want something? Or did you have a question?
Kid (different kid, maybe): What’s this?
Me: A vibrator.
Kid: *long pause and laughter with his buddies* What does it feel like?
Me: …. A vibrator.

Later, unrelated to the above incident (which had a lot more awesome, just too lazy to type it all)…. this happened.
Me: Hey man, how are you today?
Dude: *mumbles something ending in “sex shop”*
Me: Excuse me?
Dude: This place is basically like a sex shop, huh?
Me: Well. The back corner is. Did you need something?
Dude: *walks that way*
Me: *notices a random spill* Hey, I gotta get this. If you have any questions, I’ll find you when I’m done with this.
Dude: *stands basically above the puddle of soda as I clean it* Just got here and I’m already in trouble, huh?
Me: I think it’s obvious that this spill wasn’t you…..
Momma: If it was, that would be impressive!
Me: *facepalm going on in head*
Dude: *walks to the back corner*
Me: *straightening merchandise* So. Did you have any questions about anything?
Dude: No. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.
Me: Why?
Dude: You’re cute and you seem sweet.
Me: *blink blink blink* *thinking* The only people who ever hit on me just LOOK creepy as all hell…. this dude is almost attractive. Bad at hitting on people, but not as much of a creep as usual. Just keep straightening and he’ll go away. And flash your fake wedding band set…. *ACTUALLY says* Uhm…. Ok….
Dude: *can tell he’s being ignored, and probably saw the bling* Well, I should go before my buddies ditch me.
Me: Yeah. Losing them would be bad.

Immediately after that, I asked the girls to go with it if he came back and just agree that I’m married. My theory was to a guy in the Navy (attempt at semi intimidating, and decent income, and not entirely a lie…. closer to the truth that something else I could’ve come up with). They said they would go with the idea of me being married, but they would tell any guy who hits on me that I’m the type of girl who cheats on my (non existent) spouse. I love those girls.

Today’s post might be kinda long and stupid, but I’m about to go to bed and realized I was gonna post something random. May have put stuff I didn’t need to in here. But the point is still there.

Class tomorrow. Should get at least one good story out of it.

I actually behaved at school today…

Standard

But a classmate of mine did openly admit her past drug usage to my entire Lit and Ethics class. I high fived her for it.
Who knows what’s gonna happen at work, though. I work with one of the girls I make dirty jokes with, an 18 year old boy I tease, and my beau is working today. And the manager is on vacation, so who knows what’s gonna get said today. ๐Ÿ™‚