Category Archives: Uncategorized

because he’s a troll. <3

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zxBludShedxz : nautilus wants to share is secrets people
zxBludShedxz : vote yes
zxBludShedxz : gd
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I have awesome secrets.
zxBludShedxz : I bet you do
Player The Coon left the game
zxBludShedxz : you dirty fucking sponge
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : coon mad?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : who’s a sponge?
zxBludShedxz : u r
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : how so?
Alpha Male : iPorsche : dat damage
zxBludShedxz : You wipe the shit off my counters
zxBludShedxz : sponge
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : why is there feces on your counters?
zxBludShedxz : thats right you wouldnt remember last night…i drugged you sorry bout that
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : haha. I hope it was ruffies and x. I love that shit.
zxBludShedxz : mmmm
zxBludShedxz : from the fires of hell i invoke thee
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I’m a sucker for date rape.
zxBludShedxz : this black bitch
zxBludShedxz : gettin all up in my shit
(Infected) Cleaning lady : vote yes
Alpha Male : iPorsche : kick
(Infected) Cleaning lady : if you love porn
Alpha Male : iPorsche : griefer
zxBludShedxz : great i got the niggas attackin me not
zxBludShedxz : HATE CRIME
Alpha Male : iPorsche : go noobs, u have 4
zxBludShedxz : Noobs?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : seriously.
zxBludShedxz : Oh noes
zxBludShedxz : what am i going to do
zxBludShedxz : im a noob
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : you have random x’s in your name. noob.
Alpha Male : iPorsche : noob
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : and 91 hours.
zxBludShedxz : are they random?
zxBludShedxz : ARE THEY?
zxBludShedxz : think about it
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : emo kids use x’s and random shit to frame their names.
zxBludShedxz : you use patents to frame urs?
zxBludShedxz : how special do u think u r?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : it’s a joke clan tag.
zxBludShedxz : oh right
Alpha Male : iPorsche : noob down
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : there’s a difference.
(Infected) Cleaning lady : dont worry you will have lots of time to type ellis
zxBludShedxz : my b
Alpha Male : iPorsche : noob down
Alpha Male : iPorsche : NOOBS down
zxBludShedxz : didnt realize that counted in the gamer world
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : wha?
Alpha Male : iPorsche : you should uninstall
Alpha Male : iPorsche : 38 points lololol
zxBludShedxz : should i?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : yeah. you should.
Alpha Male : iPorsche : too easy
zxBludShedxz : why should i?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : shit talking with less than 100 hours. kinda sad. kinda sad.
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : and you got death charged.
zxBludShedxz : less than 100 hours
zysygy : gj u beat 2 griefers and one afk’er
zxBludShedxz : omg my sides are hurting
zxBludShedxz : dude
zxBludShedxz : stop
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : you guys didn’t kick the griefer.
zxBludShedxz : lmao alpha male took a mirror picture
zxBludShedxz : jesus
zxBludShedxz : i busted a gut
Alpha Male : iPorsche : busted a nut
Alpha Male : iPorsche : thats hot
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : yeah. and yours is of an energy drink that tastes like melted candy
zxBludShedxz : melted candy = liquid crack
zysygy : u guys must not win much to brag about beating 2 griefer + 1 afker lol
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : you didn’t kick the griefer and didn’t inform us of the afk
zxBludShedxz : and 1 emo, noob, what else did they call me?
zxBludShedxz : forget
zxBludShedxz : but i cant fucking take it
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : if you’re so concerned about the griefer and afk, kick and we’ll restart.
zxBludShedxz : Dude i am
zxBludShedxz : if i lose
zxBludShedxz : my ego
zxBludShedxz : …
Alpha Male : iPorsche : QQ
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : aw. cute.
zxBludShedxz : like totally shot
zxBludShedxz : you know how it is
zxBludShedxz : im sure some of ur patents have been stolen
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : all of them
zxBludShedxz : which is why ur on here playing a video game?
zxBludShedxz : give up on life?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : so, if I’m a loser for gaming, what does that make you?
zxBludShedxz : the guy who has less than 100 hours played
zysygy : dude nautilus why are u raging
zxBludShedxz : cause thast a bad thing?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : nah. not raging.
zysygy : ur a gamer nerd with no life, just accept
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I’m a gamer with tits. playing games to unwind from work.
zysygy : i am adding to it
zxBludShedxz : with tits?
zysygy : oh so ur a tranny?
zxBludShedxz : doesnt clarify gender based on ur responses
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : nope. natural female. vag and everything
zysygy : cool how was gender reassignment surgery
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : expensive.
zxBludShedxz : Lol oh my god im so impressed and turned on
zxBludShedxz : please go on
zxBludShedxz : tell me more about your vag
zysygy : shes fishing for compliments
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : haha. cute.
zysygy : is this the point where we are supposed to say ‘ wow omg ur a female gamer’ and put u on a pedestal?
zxBludShedxz : she….”it” is fishing for compliments
MMQ : wtf did I walk into lol
zxBludShedxz : Half women, half bear, half pig
Alpha Male : iPorsche : QQ’ing
zysygy : ‘guys i have tits and a vag, please respect me and idolize me’ lololol
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : nah. I wanna be treated like any other game. it’s just funny to see if people belive if I’m a chick or not
zysygy : who cares about your gender
zysygy : you’re not special bc ur a chick and u play online games
Alpha Male : iPorsche : who was that fail tank lol
zxBludShedxz : this guy
zysygy : in fact it’s a turn off
zxBludShedxz : =D
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : seriously.
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : not trying to turn you on
zysygy : gamer chicks have stereotypes
zysygy : of being ugly
zysygy : in fact u are shooting urself in the foot
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : am I now?
zysygy : next thing is that u tell us u have genital warts and halitosis
Alpha Male : iPorsche : lolol. you dont know the gamer chicks i know then 😉
zxBludShedxz : indeed
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : gamer chicks are awesome.
zysygy : alpha male ur profile picture is a shirtless guy
zysygy : please stop talking
zxBludShedxz : LMAO
Alpha Male : iPorsche : u jelly?
zxBludShedxz : Holy shitsauced
Alpha Male : iPorsche : lmao
zxBludShedxz : this is the best game ive evr joined
zxBludShedxz : so many people get personal n shit
zxBludShedxz : jesus christ
Alpha Male : iPorsche : lots of QQ
MMQ : OH ME MIRIN
zysygy : the only thing u know about girls is from when u crossdress
zxBludShedxz : im fucking dying
zxBludShedxz : LOL
zxBludShedxz : ^THAT GUY
zysygy : ‘ i have tits please respect me’
zysygy : filth
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I’m a human, respect me” wouldn’t have worked, would it
zysygy : hope ur prom has a wifi cuz this computer will be ur only date
zxBludShedxz : You get respect when the divorce doesnt mean taking half my shit
MMQ : HALF
zysygy : she will die alone after years of riding the cock carousel for an after-hours spin
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I wouldn’t take half the shit of an ex.
zxBludShedxz : that makes you 1 in a million
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I’m engaged. 23. and happy with my life.
zysygy : but its ok with her bc she talk shit online at l4d
zxBludShedxz : I dont fucking care omg lmao
Player darkterror40 left the game
Alpha Male : iPorsche : too easy
zxBludShedxz : im sayin, if u divorced, dude gets fucked over
zxBludShedxz : every time
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : pre nup.
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : what if the chicks the one with the money
zxBludShedxz : doesnt always hold
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : ^
zxBludShedxz : if the chicks the one with the money then u got bigger problems
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : what if a pornstar married a homeless dude
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : so. how come when I mentioned being female, y’all exploded?
MMQ : because tits thats why
zysygy : please stfu, ur fiancee is a masochist
zysygy : i feel bad for him
zxBludShedxz : NO
zxBludShedxz : Im fucking stayin in my cozy room
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : feel bad for me plz
zxBludShedxz : b/c i said so
zysygy : does he know the number of suicide hotline?
Alpha Male : iPorsche : 1 dead already
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I have it in, like, 3 syllabuses from school. because they give them to all students now.
zxBludShedxz : let him die
Alpha Male : iPorsche : too easy
Alpha Male : iPorsche : noob team lol
Alpha Male : iPorsche : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I can get the suicide hotline number for you, if you want.
Illuminator : KILL MEEEEEE
Illuminator : KILLLLLLL MEEEEEEEHHHH
zysygy : gj alpha u are true keyboard warrior
zxBludShedxz : Holy shit my teeth are fucking reflecing so much light right now
Illuminator : WOOT GO TEAM
zxBludShedxz : im like the fucking moon
Alpha Male : iPorsche : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Illuminator : GET THOSE POINTS
Alpha Male : iPorsche : 1 down alreayd
Alpha Male : iPorsche : already
Illuminator : FUCK YOU IM AN ANTEATER
zxBludShedxz : yo guys, did you hear? 1 down
zysygy : alpha ur profile picture is a naked man
zxBludShedxz : 1 down
zysygy : stop talking gay man
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : watch, they’re gonna complain about a griefer they didn’t kick.
Alpha Male : iPorsche : thanks 🙂
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : so. why the hate for Alpha?
zysygy : why areu sending me a smiley face
Player Illuminator left the game
zysygy : i am a guy u faggot
zxBludShedxz : Alpha is flaming bag of poop
Alpha Male : iPorsche : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
zxBludShedxz : why dont you stom him out
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : zysygy? yunohaveprofile?
zysygy : i knew she had psychological problems when shes engaged at 23
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : long engagement.
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : is that old or young?
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : i wouldnt know
zysygy : what mental disorder do u have when u brag about having tits on l4d
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : the drunken kind.
zxBludShedxz : dude one of my buds got engaged at 17
zysygy : grats u make ur fiance proud
zxBludShedxz : just sayin
Alpha Male : iPorsche : 2 down 🙂
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : and, since you were so obsessed with the fact that Alpha has a mirror pic, so I was assuming you were checking everyone’s.
zysygy : having an alcoholic gamer chick who want
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : alcoholic?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : being drunk once and a while = alcoholic?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : never knew.
Alpha Male : iPorsche : gotcha
zysygy : its thursday night and u playing l4d drunk
Alpha Male : iPorsche : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
zysygy : so yea ur an alcoholic
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : no work or school tomorrow.
Player {R69A}YabadabadooOOooOO left the game
zxBludShedxz : drugs are bad mkay!
zxBludShedxz : nautilus, what kind of dog? =D
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : mini dachshund
zxBludShedxz : i like it
Player R-Lord left the game
zxBludShedxz : im a tank
zxBludShedxz : RAWR
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : nobody cares
zysygy : u right, bragging about having tits, thursday night, on l4d, drunk, is clearly a female catch
zysygy : i envy ur fiance
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : not trying to be a catch
zysygy : ur fiance is a masochist and needs counseling
zxBludShedxz : dude quit fucking with em now…not as funny any more
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : and you’re some major catch?
zysygy : compared to u i could have HIV and 3rd degree burns and i am more of a catch than u
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : adorable.
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : nice insult.
Player MMQ left the game
zxBludShedxz : lol WHOA
zxBludShedxz : WATCH OUT FOR THAT GUY
zysygy : ok get drunk on weeknights more bragging about being a female at online games fishing for compliments
zysygy : great lif
zysygy : life
zxBludShedxz : the problem with the comeback is that ur playing video games also…..think about it
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : considering I work in retail, this is my weekend
zysygy : ofc u are a min. wage monkey
zxBludShedxz : not bein a debby downer but yah
zysygy : howd i know
zxBludShedxz : dude wtf, thats not even funny
zysygy : ur bf work at mcdonald’s?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : nope. security.
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : and I’m doing retail to get thru college.
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : what do you do?
zysygy : wow what a catch, u marrying a mall cop
zysygy : i wish u two the best
zxBludShedxz : …….
zxBludShedxz : you went overboard buddy
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : he thinks he’s offending.
zysygy : which community college u go to
zxBludShedxz : me?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : a state university, actually.
zysygy : jim bob school of trucking
zysygy : ?
Alpha Male : iPorsche : lol. auto switch
Alpha Male : iPorsche : brb
(Survivor) Alpha Male : iPorsche : brb
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : my fiance spent 5 years in the military, owns his car, owns his house, and works as security to pay his bills.
zysygy : rofl
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : in this economy, I’m glad he has a job.
zysygy : wow u have high standards
Murphaayyy : shut the fuck up already
Murphaayyy : why do you care
zysygy : ‘has a car and job’ true love!
zxBludShedxz : seriously, i was fucking with you earlier, but ignore this guy he doesnt know how to mess with someone
Murphaayyy : even
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : i like rock climbing.
zysygy : guys it’s true love
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : well, considering how hard everyone I know is working for a “real” job in my city, 40 hours a week over minimum wage is a good
zysygy : her fiance has a car
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : a good thing*
zysygy : my apologies
Murphaayyy : sweet so do i
zxBludShedxz : means hes stable
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : owns. fully paid off. paid off house. pays his bills on time.
zxBludShedxz : dude
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : i stole my car.
Murphaayyy : although some doucher keye mine
zysygy : shakespeare only dreamed about such things
zysygy : ‘he has a job’ true love
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^ hopeless romantic?
zxBludShedxz : shakepspeare was also a faggot….you read a lot of his stuff?
zysygy : i am shakespeare
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I’m an English major. I’ve read several of his plays.
zxBludShedxz : mother of god
zysygy : i thought bludshez was on my side
zysygy : are you shizophrenic?
zxBludShedxz : dude you got personal n shit
zysygy : since when u turn into white knight
zysygy : u also a masochist
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : im hungryt
zxBludShedxz : since you shit on her life….i was messin with her for ein a girl
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : keep using the same word over and over again. was it the “word of the day” on your mom’s calendar?
zxBludShedxz : wtf ever
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : somebody halp
zxBludShedxz : im done
zysygy : she will commit suicide after her ‘fiance’ cheats on her
(Infected) blazay7 : come on get out’
zysygy : i am saving her
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : does anybody object if i come in and kill zysygy?
zxBludShedxz : saving her?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : hahahahaha. cute. you think you’re really making me upset? you think I care what you say?
zysygy : u shhould be exalting me
zxBludShedxz : thank god we have jesus in the game people
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : coach dont shoot me
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : you a-hole
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : now imma kill u
zysygy : backfired
zysygy : try harder nerd
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : -.-
zysygy : nice weeaboo face
zysygy : go back to ur manga faggot
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^ mad cuz bad?
zysygy : ??? u the guy raging enough to try to kill me
zysygy : projection?
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : in this game, you typically try to kill the other team.
Murphaayyy : lol they couldnt even shoot you off
zxBludShedxz : god forbid he play the game
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : novel concept, we know.
Murphaayyy : what noobs
zysygy : ‘would anybody object if i’ ‘coach dont shoot me’
zysygy : just stfu retard
zxBludShedxz : noobs…who the fuck cares if ur good at a video game or not
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : if you would like to not conform and just die… thats fine with me
zxBludShedxz : lmao
Murphaayyy : your the retard
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : they aren’t noobs. they’re idiots.
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : im on top of u. humping ur brains out
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : how does that make u feel?
zysygy : i made this guy mad and he begs my team to let him kill me
zxBludShedxz : fuckin saucem
zxBludShedxz : =D
zysygy : sorry for upsetting u
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : upsetting who?
zysygy : i dont know what to call u
zysygy : since ur name is incomprehensible
zysygy : cuz ur an idiot
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I can’t pronounce your name.
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^mad cuz bad?
zysygy : some english major u are
(Infected) blazay7 : NICK YOUR DIENG TODay
zysygy : then
Player edwin_vincent_devalu left the game
zxBludShedxz : lol that was actually good
zysygy : must be a shitty school
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^camping safe room bc bad?
zxBludShedxz : ok overboard see
zysygy : dod nobody cares
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : your name doesn’t have enough actual vowels.
zysygy : ok u are emperor of l4d
zysygy : now stfu
zxBludShedxz : dont keep running with jokes, get good 1 liners and leave em
zxBludShedxz : maximum effect
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : wheres coach
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I have him
zxBludShedxz : doin hood rat shit
zysygy : howd i know u would marry blue collar
zxBludShedxz : you have money?
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : stand in spit bc bad?
zysygy : dod nobody cares
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^mad
zysygy : sorry for killing u
zxBludShedxz : zysgy, you got money?
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^bad
zysygy : rage at me more
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^mad cuz bad
zysygy : ok keep repeating it
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : you’re the one raging. you’re not trying because you’re bad.
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : double kill?
MoonGlorious : fucks
zysygy : yeah i showed how bad i am by killing dod repeatedly
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : ^
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : why pz?
zysygy : cool u know how to typekill gj
zysygy : what state school
(Survivor) blazay7 : lets do what they did
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : whyd oes it matter to you?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : why does*
zysygy : gg bad school
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : nah. East Tennessee State University
zysygy : yeah i was right
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : not ashamed of it.
zysygy : sup hick
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : not from this state. moved here with my mom after my dad died, leaving us financially fucked.
zysygy : if i went to your shitty school, id get drunk on weeknights too dw
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : so thank you for reminding me that my dad died 8 years ago.
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : asshat.
zysygy : u started
zxBludShedxz : We are fam-ily….i got all my ragers with me
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : haha.
zysygy : if it’s any form of consolation i would make you give me a bj before donkey punching u
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : haha. like I’d be around you long enough to suck your tiny dick.
xCitizenSnipTAx : my team = mad
zxBludShedxz : i wont attack
zxBludShedxz : stop
zxBludShedxz : ok
zxBludShedxz : =(
zysygy : you would
zxBludShedxz : no
(Survivor) blazay7 : !laseron
zysygy : that’s the scary part
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : hahahaha. cocky, much?
zxBludShedxz : im a mcdonald…not a whore
zysygy : as much as i am an asshole
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : so. tell me. how big is your mother’s basement?
zysygy : talking to me is the most fun you’ve had in a long time
zysygy : you would spit in your fiance’s face to spend an evening with me
zxBludShedxz : thats why i call you the fun doctor
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : zys, since you seem to want to brag so much, what do you do?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : it’s amusing because you think you’re upsetting me.
zysygy : ???
zysygy : where did i say tha
zysygy : ??
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : my fiance is more of a man than you’ll ever be. he doesn’t try to put people down in an attempt to make himself feel better
zxBludShedxz : what exactly do you do? im jw
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : if you think
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : all that work is below you
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : what exactly do you do
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : seriously.
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : that makes you so high ahnd mighty
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : afraid to answer?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I think he is.
(Survivor) blazay7 : what happen guys]
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : silence….
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I asked how big his mom’s basement is and he avoided it.
zysygy : DoD you brag about typekilling me, not interested in talking to you
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^ so mad
zysygy : sorry
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : very mad.
zysygy : yeah you are proving my point
zxBludShedxz : i mean im in college studying financing and proably minoring in accounting….no job but i hope to land something stead….you?
zysygy : DicK
zysygy : so anyway
zysygy : what was I talking about
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : BludShed admits he’s working on something, at least. zysygy wont tell us anything
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I’m not ashamed of my life, but I think he is. so he’s trying to make others cry.
zysygy : the facts about my life are independent to your humdrum lackluster life
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : exactly. ashamed.
zysygy : you go to east tennessee state school
zysygy : shame describes the wrong person
zxBludShedxz : im not anything collar because I don’t have a job right now….if ur in school its all good
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I have no shame. I am not ashamed of where I attent school.
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : full time student, part time work, full time awesome.
zysygy : i dont get drunk on thurs nights and say ‘ i have tits’ on video games
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : WHY NOT
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : I HAVE TITS
xCitizenSnipTAx : nothing wrong with drinking or tits imo
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : TITS ARE AWESOME!
zxBludShedxz : tits…tits everywhere
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : FUCK YEAH
zysygy : i am not trying to make you upset. i dont care if you take umbrage
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : you dont like tits zys?
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : its ok
zysygy : i am just being honest
zxBludShedxz : :O
zysygy : you are not worth much objectively
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : at least hes honest about not liking tits
zysygy : in the dating market
zysygy : DoD why do you keep talking to me
zysygy : i dont wanna fuck you
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : [DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : at least hes honest about not liking tits
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^totaly talking TO you
zysygy : why do you keep talking to me
zysygy : i am not interested
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : you dont like it when males talk to you?
zxBludShedxz : He is a questionable adversary this one….pondering on current course of action for maximum embarassment. o_O
zysygy : go troll someone else
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : says the troll
zysygy : embarrassment*
zysygy : it has two r
zxBludShedxz : Sorry, forgot i was in english class
zysygy : i am sure the english major knew that
zysygy : you should be delighted in learning new things
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I dont correct basic typos.
zysygy : not defending error
zysygy : it was not a typo
zysygy : he misspell
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : btw what is a typekill
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I’m not a perfect speller.
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : any1 know?:
zysygy : i guess in east jesus nowhere school, the illustrious students don’t know the difference
zxBludShedxz : You would be if you hadn’t dropped out of school? No? Maybe feeding off the work of your patriarchs? In the science world that
zysygy : great school, you must be proud
zxBludShedxz : is called a parasite
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I’m sorry I’m not a grammar nazi on the internet. heaven forbid I decide NOT to be a bitch.
zysygy : uh
zysygy : spelling is not grammar
zysygy : are you sure you are an english major?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : grammar nazis are also spelling nazis.
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : they’re usually one in the same.
(Survivor) blazay7 : smoker is next to me
zysygy : i am a science major and by comparison to me you talk like you’re brazilian
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : do I now?
zxBludShedxz : Brazilian* It’s a country and as such should be capitalized.
zysygy : nautilus is from 20 leagues, if i am right
(Survivor) blazay7 : our turn
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : what is a science major
zysygy : jules verne
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : LOL
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : WTF is a science major
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : it can be. but my name is based on the animal, not the book reference.
zxBludShedxz : lmao, i majored in science
zxBludShedxz : and a little in math
zysygy : DoD has down’s syndrome
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : like chemistry?
zysygy : ignore him
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^ mad
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : why so sad?
zxBludShedxz : i know someone whos sister has downs syndrome…not funny
zysygy : yeah i am mad that you have extra chromosomes
zxBludShedxz : see what i mean about crossing the line?
zysygy : you are right
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : he doesn’t care about anyone else. he thinks his shit doesn’t stink and that he’s entitled to everyone bowing to him.
zysygy : you are
zysygy : dont know about anyone else
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : wahooz
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : he thinks that rainbows come out from his asshole and eyeballs.
zysygy : you certainly are though, cow girl
zxBludShedxz : That’s an incomplete sentence. Please try again.
zxBludShedxz : Sorry, the nazi in me…can’t control it ^_^
zxBludShedxz : SIEG HEIL!
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : good job. XD
zysygy : nice weeaboo face
zysygy : how’s naruto going
zxBludShedxz : How does one answer that question?
xCitizenSnipTAx : this fun…
zysygy : 10 dollars says our beloved southern belle will shlick to memories of our conversation
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : southern belle? really? I only moved here after I graduated High School.
zysygy : you will remember talking to me on your wedding night
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I’m from the West Coast.
zxBludShedxz : Where in the south might i ask?
zysygy : tennessee idiot
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : Northeast Tennessee.
zysygy : learn to read
[ZSB]InnocentKiller[ZSB] : WERE GONNA DIE
zxBludShedxz : how can i read something that isnt on the screen?
zysygy : i am sorry apparently your cerebral cortex does not work
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^uses big words
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I’m sorry you’re a pompous asshole.
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : ^must be sophisticated
zysygy : hard to remember something that happened 5 min ago right?
zxBludShedxz : well pardon me for not reading all the bullshit you guys have been typing….must have left all my fucks back home =/
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I kinda like Blud now, that he’s realized his trolling failed.
zysygy : it’s fine, I have trouble talking to inferior minds myself
zxBludShedxz : trolling failed/got boring/got way overboard
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : fair enough. XD
zxBludShedxz : take your pick
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : zysygy is still trying to troll.
zysygy : yeah sorry for upsetting you sensible young minds
[DoD] ﻞDکₒₒᴴᴼᴼ bac : gg zys. i had fun.
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : he thinks he’s upset me.
zxBludShedxz : lol, mission failed….sorry mr cruise
zxBludShedxz : i gotta lay off the monsters…my stomach feels horrile right meow
zysygy : i know you only read books written by dr. seuss, but repetition for effect is a common literary technique
zysygy : stick to green eggs and ham
zxBludShedxz : who is that directed at?
zysygy : at you, moron
zysygy : how deficient must you be to not figure it out
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : we’re not all geniuses like you
zysygy : i prefer the term
zxBludShedxz : because everyone thinks you’re a fucking idiot so it’s hard to tell who you’re mad at
zysygy : brilliant
zxBludShedxz : sorry
zysygy : yes, i am an idiot while you binge drink on monster energy drinks and use the sentence syntax of a 7 year old autist
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : autist?
zxBludShedxz : kick me?
zxBludShedxz : lmao
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : what is an autist?
zysygy : i didnt start it
Player NanswerY left the game
zysygy : nor did i vote
(Survivor) Alpha Male : iPorsche : vago, why you dead
zxBludShedxz : never accused you
(Survivor) The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : death charge. XD
zysygy : i find you good cheap entertainment
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I find you cheap.
zysygy : no worries my enfeebled friend
(Survivor) Alpha Male : iPorsche : i know. i played w vago before lolol
zxBludShedxz : Cheap? I’m sorry where exactly are you distributing any money for my time?
zysygy : is my southern belle still here pining for my affections?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : yep
zysygy : if you send me topless pics, i will answer three of your questions
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I dont have a camera.
zxBludShedxz : You know what is so classic…when people star throwing words around like “idiot” or “retard,” suddenly everyone comes out with
zxBludShedxz : big words
zxBludShedxz : lmao
zxBludShedxz : IM NOT AN IDIOT
zxBludShedxz : I SAY BIG BOY WORDS
zysygy : if you are sufficiently attractive, i may pay for your amtrak
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I have no interest in assholes who think they’re god’s gift to women.
zysygy : you must do as i say, however, and call me your supreme overlord
zxBludShedxz : Cartman?
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : ooh baby. baby. fuck me hard.
zysygy : no i don’t do that
zxBludShedxz : fuck girls?
zxBludShedxz : you dont do that
zxBludShedxz : i knew it
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : stick it in my ass.
zysygy : you will memorize lines from a midsummer
zxBludShedxz : btw im a girl
zxBludShedxz : plot twist im not
zysygy : and each time you mess up
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : XD
zysygy : a line
zysygy : i smack you with my cock
zxBludShedxz : plot twist im nicholas cage
zxBludShedxz : fear the cage
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : so sexy.
zxBludShedxz : cage rage
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : how about we throw some 50 Shades of Gray kinky shit in there?
Player Fetus Operandi left the game
zysygy : fuck that book
zxBludShedxz : Oh fuck yah
zxBludShedxz : baby turning me on
zysygy : i would never date anyone who would read such filth
zysygy : worse than twilight
zxBludShedxz : zysygy you want in?
zxBludShedxz : oh yah forgot you dont fuck girls
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I read 2.5 chapters of 50 Shades and I almost died.
zysygy : they should be so lucky
zysygy : as to have my penis inside them
zxBludShedxz : still can’t find that key to the chastity belt huh?
zysygy : i hid the key underneath your down syndrome sister’s bed
Player saraqmv left the game
zxBludShedxz : damn rochelle lieks it hard
Player General Patton left the game
zxBludShedxz : some bukake shit right there
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : I think zysgy was picked on my a down’s kid once.
The Nautilus of Doom [#patent] : by*
zysygy : i don’t hate them
zxBludShedxz : The kid owned him on the playground…ever since that day he’s never been the same
zysygy : i use them for insults but that does not imply animosity
Player vago left the game
zysygy : no ill will

 

it goes on and on and on. 

Aside

c76.Fishbulb: lol hi
c76.Fishbulb: so
c76.Fishbulb: I cant even tell
c76.Fishbulb: if that was a troll or not
c76.Fishbulb: please enlighten me
c76.Fishbulb: lmfao
The Nautilus of Doom: like. o.m.g. whats a troll?
The Nautilus of Doom: is it like the thing under the bridge?
c76.Fishbulb: liek omg
c76.Fishbulb: yes
c76.Fishbulb: exactly.
The Nautilus of Doom: y wud i b a troll? im totes adorbz
c76.Fishbulb: liek totes zomg
The Nautilus of Doom: riiiiight?
The Nautilus of Doom: so like. y did you friend me?
The Nautilus of Doom: thats super weird
c76.Fishbulb: because
c76.Fishbulb: gotta know if troll or not
The Nautilus of Doom: yes. yes I am.
c76.Fishbulb: clearly a troll bt
The Nautilus of Doom: honest to god.
c76.Fishbulb: that was fucking awesome
c76.Fishbulb: to maintain that for like a full hour
c76.Fishbulb: im proud of you
The Nautilus of Doom: I’m from California, and I can talk like that, but I nearly kill myself.
The Nautilus of Doom: I grew up in So Cal.
c76.Fishbulb: bahahahaaaa
c76.Fishbulb: yeah I was impressed
The Nautilus of Doom: ps. Jinx helped me keep it up.
The Nautilus of Doom: impressive for someone in Canada.
c76.Fishbulb: I tried but couldnt even do it for like a minute
c76.Fishbulb: LMFAO! xD epic.
c76.Fishbulb: you guys are my new heroes.
The Nautilus of Doom: awesome!

Aside

Adam Lanza’s Demon: you can be my little submissive girl now
The Nautilus of Doom: oh yes. oh yes.
The Nautilus of Doom: I love it when you’re an asshole.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: don’t pretend like you don’t like it
Adam Lanza’s Demon: we just dominated the fuck outta your team
The Nautilus of Doom: and I care why?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: and it was… good for me
Adam Lanza’s Demon: because, I’ve dated english majors like you
Adam Lanza’s Demon: they are fine little things
The Nautilus of Doom: well I’m glad you validate yourself by winning in a video game.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: it’s better than losing, am I wrong?
The Nautilus of Doom: winning is nice. but I am not a sporty person, so I don’t really know much about winning.
The Nautilus of Doom: English majors aren’t good at sports. or math.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: haha, you don’t know much about winning?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: doesn’t surprise me
Adam Lanza’s Demon: you live in NC, right?
The Nautilus of Doom: nope
Adam Lanza’s Demon: what state?
The Nautilus of Doom: TN
Adam Lanza’s Demon: that’s even worse
The Nautilus of Doom: hey. rent is cheap.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: so are the people though
The Nautilus of Doom: true. true. but I’m not from here, so it’s w/e
Adam Lanza’s Demon: where are you from, So Cal?
The Nautilus of Doom: Ventura.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: a dirty dirty place
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I am from the much nicer, San Diego
The Nautilus of Doom: but much more expensive
Adam Lanza’s Demon: yeah, but I’m rich, so it’s alright
The Nautilus of Doom: oh. you’re gonna be my rich sugar daddy? I need that so much
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I will be take you to pound town every night
Adam Lanza’s Demon: and buy you very little
The Nautilus of Doom: so. you call me fat, and then say you’ll be my sugar dadd.
The Nautilus of Doom: daddy*
The Nautilus of Doom: awesome.
The Nautilus of Doom: ’cause I have daddy issues
Adam Lanza’s Demon: yeah, you’re lucky that I like those kind of girls
Adam Lanza’s Demon: oh god, just reading those words, made me kind of hard
The Nautilus of Doom: good to know.
The Nautilus of Doom: well. my dad died when I was a teenager, leaving me sad, alone, and afraid of commitment. I fucked every guy in my high school and had a couple of abortions
The Nautilus of Doom: so it’s kind of a train wreck down there.
The Nautilus of Doom: I’m saving up money to get reconstructive surgery
The Nautilus of Doom: can you pay for that?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: it depends what it’s for
The Nautilus of Doom: otherwise, it’ll be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway
The Nautilus of Doom: my pussy is so stretched out right now.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I’m sure your butthole still works though
The Nautilus of Doom: oh. no. it’s fucked too.
The Nautilus of Doom: I started with that.
The Nautilus of Doom: I didn’t have vaginal sex until I was a sophomore
Adam Lanza’s Demon: if I pay for your surgery, it’ll be like I popped your cherry
The Nautilus of Doom: awesome.
The Nautilus of Doom: I need a guy like you in my life.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I don’t really want to pay
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I’d rather just fuck you
The Nautilus of Doom: it’s ok. pay for the surgery, have your fun, and you can be my pimp.
The Nautilus of Doom: just pay me in beer. you can have the rest.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I’ll pay you in my dick spit
Adam Lanza’s Demon: send me your naked pictures
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I want to jack off to you
The Nautilus of Doom: lemme find one. hold on.
The Nautilus of Doom: my crappy cheap internet I’m stealing from the neighbors is giving me trouble. hold on.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I’m waiting
The Nautilus of Doom: I can’t access my private pictures on facebook that I reserve for this kind of situation. my internet freaked out.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: gonna do that to me now?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: not surprised
The Nautilus of Doom: it’s not my fault I can’t afford cable internet.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I’m sure my thick cock would still take care of your loose puss
The Nautilus of Doom: I dunno. it’s pretty loose.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I’ve been told that my dick is exceptionally thick
Adam Lanza’s Demon: and I would fuck the caylights out of you
The Nautilus of Doom: caylights?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: daylights
Adam Lanza’s Demon: see, you correct mistakes when they’re not yours
The Nautilus of Doom: ??
Adam Lanza’s Demon: take a picture of your pussy with your phone
Adam Lanza’s Demon: and text it to me
The Nautilus of Doom: I don’t have a camera phone.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: oh what?
The Nautilus of Doom: http://www.girlsgames4kids.com/pictures/Fat%20Girls/Fat_Girls_fat.jpg
Adam Lanza’s Demon: what are you living in 1995?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: lol that’s not you
The Nautilus of Doom: says you!
The Nautilus of Doom: got silent now because you know the truth?
The Nautilus of Doom: I’m a fat, lonely English major with nothing better to do than suck at video games?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I just came
The Nautilus of Doom: even  better
Adam Lanza’s Demon: but it was to actual porn
Adam Lanza’s Demon: not some googled imaged of a fat girkl
The Nautilus of Doom: you think I’d seriously send some stranger a nude?
The Nautilus of Doom: to a troll?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: that wasn’t a nude
The Nautilus of Doom: well. still. you think I’d send a real photo of myself anywhere NEAR nude to some stranger troll on the internet?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I want more as proof
Adam Lanza’s Demon: how many dicks have you taken?
The Nautilus of Doom: 3
The Nautilus of Doom: if you want the honest truth.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: how has that stretched your pussy out?
The Nautilus of Doom: you believed all that? awesome.
The Nautilus of Doom: I keep forgetting that sarcasm doesn’t read well online
Adam Lanza’s Demon: so you’re saying that you’re not really 600 pounds?
The Nautilus of Doom: never said I was.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: it says a lot about your personality that I believed you though
The Nautilus of Doom: like I care. I’m keeping this up because I’m drunk.
The Nautilus of Doom: because, yes, truthfully, I have nothing better to do tonight than get drunk and play video games.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: and you want my penis in your pussy
The Nautilus of Doom: nope.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: in your mouth
The Nautilus of Doom: you think every female wants your dick, because none of them actually do.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: that makes absolutely no sense
Adam Lanza’s Demon: Women like me because I’m charming, polite, and rich
The Nautilus of Doom: you think girls feel threatened by you. you think they wont approach you because you’re too awesome or some shit.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: you know, you should have been a psychology major with that stupid-ass psychoanalysis.
The Nautilus of Doom: I’m not a psych major. I’m an english major. I majoed in BS.
The Nautilus of Doom: and I’m ok with it
Adam Lanza’s Demon: What year are you? Aka, how many years left until you can’t find a proper job?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: Let me guess, you’re going to go to law school, because you don’t know of whate else to do
The Nautilus of Doom: in all honesty, I’m a 5th year senior because I had a mental breakdown when I decided I didn’t wanna teach. so, I switched minors and I’m going to finish within a year, probably.
The Nautilus of Doom: I’m going for a Technical writing degree.
The Nautilus of Doom: and if that doesn’t work out, fuck it. I’ll do what I can with what I have and, heaven forbid, I go back to school and get a teaching degre.
The Nautilus of Doom: degree*
The Nautilus of Doom: but, considering technical writing is a field not a lot of people know about but a lot of companies actually need, I think I’ll be ok.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: wth is a technical writing degree?
The Nautilus of Doom: look it up.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: pass
The Nautilus of Doom: then don’t judge.
The Nautilus of Doom: I’m telling you the truth about my plans for life because I’m not ashamed of them
Adam Lanza’s Demon: any major that involves simply learning the language that the majority in this country speaks can’t be worth that much
The Nautilus of Doom: it has NOTHING to do with the languag.e
The Nautilus of Doom: it’s about the literature, the usage, the importance, etc.
The Nautilus of Doom: technical writing involves using the mastery of the English language to create useful documents for companies. manuals, proposals, websites, etc.
The Nautilus of Doom: English courses in colleges do not teach you how to speak or write words. they teach you how to write ABOUT things. how to think critically. how to analyze things.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: if you ask me, it sounds like you drank the marketing kool-aid that your college provided for the major
The Nautilus of Doom: nope. if I listened to the college, I’d still be in education courses, wanting to teach dipshit teenagers the differences between “they’re” “their,” and “there”
The Nautilus of Doom: what are you trying to accomplish by telling me my major is crap? for telling me my education is worthless?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I’m trying to help you
The Nautilus of Doom: funny
Adam Lanza’s Demon: Do you know how ridiculous the job market is right now for grads?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I mean, not for me, of course
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I make 150k a year
The Nautilus of Doom: yes. this is why I am NOT going into education or medicine. everyone is doing that. every. one.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: but for you, it will be very, very bad
The Nautilus of Doom: I already told you. most companies need technical writers. most of them hire secretaries and make them do the work for less money but with nowhere NEAR the quality or expertise. job listings for these positions are plentiful.
The Nautilus of Doom: you’re just mad that you picked some career field you thought would help and now you have to lie to some stranger on the internet to feel better
Adam Lanza’s Demon: Oh, that is so far from the truth it’s funny
Adam Lanza’s Demon: in fact, I am in the top 2% of the country
Adam Lanza’s Demon: and I’m only 25
The Nautilus of Doom: good for you.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I went to Harvard
The Nautilus of Doom: so you’ve said.
The Nautilus of Doom: and you’re a stuck up ass about it.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I’m simply telling you this because it pleases me to know
The Nautilus of Doom: good for you.
The Nautilus of Doom: I’m glad you’re happy in your life.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: yeah, thank you.
The Nautilus of Doom: I don’t care about what you do. but I’m glad it makes you happy. I like to know that people are pleased with their choices in life.
The Nautilus of Doom: unlike you. you want to put people down who don’t go in the field you do.
The Nautilus of Doom: and if everyone followed your advice, we’d all be fighting for the same jobs.
The Nautilus of Doom: and I now you’re going to say “but I’m the best, so no one will steal my job”
Adam Lanza’s Demon: no, but we’d have a lot more people that weren’t going to have an impossible time finding a decent job
Adam Lanza’s Demon: no, I’d think that people should do what they want, as long as it would provide them a good chance at finding a good job
The Nautilus of Doom: heaven forbid people fight in a job market to do something they ENJOY.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: why do the lonely girls always have the weiner dogs?
The Nautilus of Doom: because it’s not originally my dog.
The Nautilus of Doom: but they are sweet and loyal dogs.
The Nautilus of Doom: and why do you assume I’m lonely?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: because you’re talking to some guy that you just met online
The Nautilus of Doom: because I’m drunk and bored and have nothing better to do tonight because my boyfriend is watching football.
The Nautilus of Doom: ysoquiet all of a sudden?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: well, if you’re ever in Delaware, let me know, and I’ll show you what you’ve been missing with your boyfriend
The Nautilus of Doom: hah. nope.
The Nautilus of Doom: a) no plans on going to deleware and b) no plans on leaving my boyfriend
Adam Lanza’s Demon: oh, you wouldn’t have to leave him
The Nautilus of Doom: also, wouldn’t cheat.
The Nautilus of Doom: not that kind of girl
Adam Lanza’s Demon: what do you mean cheat?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I just said I’d show you what you were missing
Adam Lanza’s Demon: take you out to a nice show, and get some dinner
Adam Lanza’s Demon: that kind of thing…
Adam Lanza’s Demon: but kind of presumptive for you to assume
The Nautilus of Doom: yeah. I’d consider that cheating.
The Nautilus of Doom: and I prefer not to  hang out with douchebags.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: you love douchebags
Adam Lanza’s Demon: that’s why you’re still talking to me
The Nautilus of Doom: not to fuck or hang out with.
The Nautilus of Doom: drunk me likes talking to morons. it’s funny.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I am 1000x smarter than you
The Nautilus of Doom: well good for you
Adam Lanza’s Demon: that’s already been established
The Nautilus of Doom: doesn’t mean you’re not a moron
The Nautilus of Doom: and you decided that. I decided nothing
Adam Lanza’s Demon: once you get to know me, you’ll learn
The Nautilus of Doom: i have no intentions of getting to know you.
The Nautilus of Doom: I’ll sober up and go “well. that was a dumb idea.”
Adam Lanza’s Demon: most girls sober up and contemplate on why they didn’t do that sooner
The Nautilus of Doom: I might do that. then I’ll read the saved convo and go “that’s why. he’s a dick and I thought it was funny.”
The Nautilus of Doom: I work with the public. the public who think fart jokes and sex toys are funny.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: yep, you surround yourself with the lowest form of person
Adam Lanza’s Demon: the spencer’s gift patron
The Nautilus of Doom: exactly.
The Nautilus of Doom: they pay me and I get to work somewhere I can say shit like “clit massager” and no one gets offended. it’s entertaining
Adam Lanza’s Demon: my tongue has a clit massager on the end of it
The Nautilus of Doom: sounds like a medical condition.
The Nautilus of Doom: you might be having a stroke
Adam Lanza’s Demon: having a seizure, and getting you off at the same time
The Nautilus of Doom: because seizures are sexy.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: the rhythms of my tongue on your clit
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I’m checking out your fbook pictures
The Nautilus of Doom: so?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: and I want to fuck you…
The Nautilus of Doom: good to know.
The Nautilus of Doom: but you can’t.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: just to let you know, you wouldn’t be able to resist
The Nautilus of Doom: no. I would.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: you’re the short-haired lesbian type
The Nautilus of Doom: my hair isn’t that short anymore
Adam Lanza’s Demon: you need a good dicking
The Nautilus of Doom: hasn’t been in years.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: you look like harry potter in the first movie
The Nautilus of Doom: and?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: Expeliosus
The Nautilus of Doom: spelled it wrong.
Adam Lanza’s Demon: wow
Adam Lanza’s Demon: your nerdery surprises me
The Nautilus of Doom: does it?
Adam Lanza’s Demon: after you graduate, apply to be my secretary
Adam Lanza’s Demon: at my law firm
Adam Lanza’s Demon: I’ll hire you
Adam Lanza’s Demon: it’s good pay
Adam Lanza’s Demon: but you’d have to put out
The Nautilus of Doom: tempting. but no
Adam Lanza’s Demon: alright, I grow tired
The Nautilus of Doom: fair enough.
The Nautilus of Doom: goodbye, asshole.

So, I wanna rant more than tell a story…. ok?

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So, my school is teh suxors. They don’t do one of the grants they did last year and because of this, I owe money since the Pell Grant alone doesn’t cover their stupidly high tuition costs. Even if I drop down to the bare minimum of full time enrollment, I’ll owe money. So, I owe nearly $400 by the end of the semester. This sucks because a) I have to buy books (which the boyfriend will loan me the money for) and b) my job is crap.

I need to vent so the internet why my job sucks since my mom, best friends, and boyfriend are sick of hearing it.

I’ve been employeed with a certain retail store that shall remain nameless for a little over 3 years. I started in June of 2008.

You’d think that with my years of service I’d get a raise or a promotion. Well, I’ve gotten neither, wanna know why? My boss/the company suck.

No raise because I’m a Sales Associate (part time worker, full time slave) and they don’t often last more than a year so the company stopped caring about giving raises. Also, when federal minimum wage kept going up, they figured they didn’t need to give raises to my position. Well, min wage is steady at $7.25 and has been for over 2 years.

No promotion about a year or 1.5 years  into working there when the position was available because you need 2 years sales/retail experience to get the job (this is my first and only job, besides a non-retail school job I had at my community college). So, yeah. No promotion but I didn’t mind because I understood the reasoning.

The position became open about 2.5 years into my employment with the store. I had to apply for it like I’d never applied for a job with the company before. I had to go through the online app process. I had to do one of those online tests/surveys a lot of companies have you do where you strongly agree to strongly disagree with stuff that basically asks things like “Is it EVER ok for an employee to steal?” and “is it ok for employees to work while on drugs?” and stuff like that. I failed it. My boss asked the Regional manager about it and he said to call someone to see if they can override it. Boss claimed she called and claimed that there was nothing they could do about my failed stupid test. I think this is a load of bull. If you go high enough, anything and everything can be overridden.

The part that sucks most about this? Not only would I have only needed minimal training on opening on closing (I know how to do everything else, my codes just wont let me), but the guy who got the job was hired as HOLIDAY (Temp) help. Also, he started saying inappropriate things to me. It’s one thing if I make a joke about my chest and he agrees, but he would say that he couldn’t talk to me because he would get…. distracted…. by my chest (yeah. I’m busty. but I would wear basic tank tops. Nothing lacy and super low cut and over sexy. talking jeans and a tank top). He got talked to about that and we get along ok now. But I kinda tell him what to do and he doesn’t argue because he knows I know what  I’m doing.

I think the boss refuses to promote me because I’m the first person she goes to when someone needs to call out or doesn’t show up. I’ve covered shifts for her, Supervisors, and every other Associate more times than I can count (as long as a Supervisor, Manager, or Assistant Manager is present for that shift, since I can’t work alone because of my sales associate position). A friend of  mine (who I helped get the job) is very reliable, too, but I’m still the first one the  manager calls or tells people to call. If someone needs a shift switched? Call me. If someone didn’t show up? Call me. If Manager has a sudden thing to go to? Call me. I always answer, and up until a couple months ago, I always went in if I wasn’t deathly ill or had plans out of town.

Why would a promotion effect me covering for people? Because the payroll department often doesn’t give us enough hours to run much more than a skeleton crew except for holidays and biiiiiig sale days (like Tax Free Weekend or Magical Night of Giving). Now, if someone who gets paid around $1 more per hour covers for someone who gets minimum wage, it messes with the payroll budget. And we can’t have that, can we? Even though our store makes more money for the company than the 3 of the stores in the district that really SHOULD be ahead of us. Now, why we can’t get more hours to make the employees happier is beyond me. I’d love the hours the Supervisors get, but there are 4 Associates, which I think is 1-2 more than we actually need. I get the most hours out of the associates because a) I’ve been there the longest and b) I’m the most reliable.

Proof that I am a very hard worker and I am probably working too hard for what little they pay me…

Besides the aforementioned fact that I show up, cover for everyone, and all that jazz, I ALWAYS show up about 10 minutes early. I leave 30 minutes before my shift starts and I only live about 5 miles away. (I live near a large call center that often lets out about 30 minutes before my shift starts). I usually get to the mall about 15+ minutes before my shift starts and I either wander around for a minute, get a drink, or stop and say hi to a friend in the area. When I get into the store, I still have a few minutes before my shift starts and I read whatever needs to be read and signed, I check the daily planner, I double check my schedule to check when I next work, etc. I don’t do much of that on the clock.

Also, the other day we got shipment. It’s supposed to get there by 1, and I was supposed to go in at 1. So, I get there and ask my friend if shipment was there and she said it got there 30 minutes ago. So, we had 35 boxes I needed to open. I did all of them in 2.5 hours. Removed plastic and tape from merchandise, stacked it or put it in storage totes by category. Usually, something like this would’ve taken most people 3-5 hours. Me? I’m awesome. The manager took the shirts and started on them (putting censors on them, folding them, and putting them out) but she maybe got 1/4 of them done by the time she left about 2-3 hours after I finished the shipment. Meanwhile, I put out 4 overflowing totes of merchandise on the sales floor, a good 6ft by 3 ft by 4 ft group of boxed items (boxes of lights and whatnot stacked to the side) upstairs, which took a good 10+ trips, and I did this all before my lunch around 5:30. When I was done, the closing supervisor and I finished the shirts and he did one overflowing tote of merchandise and I did about 2.5 totes. We left and there was only about 3 totes worth of merchandise where there started with 10 + the stuff stacked on the floor. I was sweating my whole shift. I did not stop moving until less than an hour before I got to go home (20 minutes before the store closed). I took a short personal break to catch my breath and call my mom before going back to the sales floor and making sure the store was clean and straight. I went home, showered, and collapsed. I ached so bad I couldn’t sleep until I took a PM pain reliever… And then I was gone.

Now, on to the fellow associates who don’t work as hard as me and who I’m constantly covering for.

I love one girl. I helped her get the job. She does her job, she covers for people when she can, etc. I have no problem with her. Her one flaw is that she has to have stuff pointed out to her. She doesn’t think “oh, we’re slow. I’ll collect shirts to fold or make a sweep of the store for merchandise that is misplaced.” If you tell her to do this, she does it and does it well.

One girl has been there for a little over 2 years. She kinda has an attitude problem. All teenagers, to her, are pure evil and need to leave the store the second they unfold a shirt or don’t put something up properly. Yeah, it’s annoying when people mess stuff up, but if they aren’t acting like they’re stealing or touching and moving everything in the store, leave them alone. She hates everyone except happy babies. She complains when she has to work a long shift when she was expecting a short shift (like if someone needs to call out and she’s working the 4 hour shift before or after it so she goes from a 4 to an 8 hour shift). She will try to find a way to not stay there the whole 8 hours and whines if she has to stay. She complains that she wants more hours, but only wants it in 4 hour shifts, it seems. She got a new job and keeps calling out because she has a shift before her shift at our store (when she can easily make it to both) or because she’s hungover, or because she has a headache, or because she doesn’t have a ride (ok. ride one makes sense. but usually, you can find SOMEONE to help you out). What does she do if no one can cover? Does she come in despite a headache? No. She just doesn’t show up. Has she been fired for this behavior? No. Would I be fired if I did this? Yes. I’ve gone in with cramps so bad I’m dry heaving, allergy attacks so bad I have to carry a box of tissues with me, a cold so bad I can’t stand for long. Does it suck? yes. Should anyone have to do it? No. Does it happen? Yes. Get over it.

Now, my favorite… our young guy. He’s stupid tall and well, stupid. He would say he wants hours, but then call out for half his shifts some weeks. Most of the time it was no problem for me to take them, but sometimes I was the ONLY person who could take them and I already  had plans. Also, he’s good at not knowing he has to work. Or forgetting. And then we can’t get ahold of him to see if he can come in. He’s done this more than enough times to get fired but has only been written up once or twice for it. I know if I had 3 no calls-no shows, I’d be written up for all 3 and fired. Also, he’s good at just standing around and if I tell him he should be doing something, he tells me there’s nothing to do, or makes an excuse for why he’s standing around. There’s always something to do. Shirts to be folded, boxes to be taped, merchandise to be stocked, merchandise to be placed in it’s appropriate place. He’s an idiot and I don’t know why we keep him. Oh wait, it’s probably because the manager thinks he’s cute. When he’s not.

In short, I work way too hard for what little money I make. Some employers would consider it a blessing and love to hire this type of person, but not my boss. She abuses it and expects me to go above and beyond every time I work and to cover for anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat. If I could consistently get 15-20 hours, I’d be happy to stay. If we got rid of the reasons I will go from an 8 hour week to a 12 or 16 hour week out of nowhere, I’d be happy. I’m all for hours if I’m scheduled them or know at least a day or 2 ahead of time. There’s been a few days I almost walked out of there, but I need this as a job reference….

 

Thanks for reading my venting. I know no one cares, but I needed to at least type it out.

It’s been a while…

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Sorry I haven’t posted in a while… hard to be a shameless college kid without being in school for the summer…. But here’s something.

Spent the day with Midget-Wrath and my guy friend to be named Ginger-Boy (bright red hair) at the lake…..

Me: Is that what I think it is?
Ginger: An air mattress?
Me: YES!
Midget-Wrath: Yeah… I think it is.
Ginger-Boy: I wonder if it’s like a waterbed…. mixing an air mattress with water.
Me: ….. maybe?
Ginger-Boy: Is anyone else thinking what I’m thinking?
Me: …… something about having sex on an air mattress while on the water?
Ginger-Boy and Midget Wrath: YES! I was thinking that, too!
Me: We’re special…. and that would be difficult to do. I’d be afraid of falling.

I then texted my boyfriend about Ginger-Boy’s comments and he said “…. goal”